Lightning Bolt ⚡
Bio
Bolt ⚡ aka Bill, a bizarre bisexual bipolar alliterative epileptic Taco Bell Futurist 🌮 ☇ a sexy ♒ Aquarian oddball with an erratic brain↯🧠↯ author of comedy, poetry, sci fi, & horror.
I am shock therapy.⚡ Subscribing risks electrocution↯.
Achievements (10)
Stories (233)
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We Don't Stop Meme-ing Because It Grows Old; We Grow Old Because We Stop Meme-ing . Top Story - April 2022.
I've written several 'comedy routines' inspired by the memes I yank from my Facebook feed. I call this series Meme-ing For Laughs. I started writing this crap a long time ago, before Vocal had a Humor Community. I'm now in the process of migrating all those guffaws over here— to their proper place in the Humor Community! This one previously won a Top Story thingie!!! ⚡😁👍
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Humor
My Identity Delusion
There was only one rule: don't open the door. The problem with that was... I'm a rebel. If you tell me not to do something, I'll do it, just because you told me not to. Put a barrier up in front of me; watch me take a battering ram to it. I'm fiercely independent.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Horror
When the Meme-ing Gets Tough, the Tough Get Meme-ing!
I published a bunch of stupid memes a while back, with the intent of titillating! This stuff was originally published in the Journal Community. I decided to tweak it & migrate it over to the correct location (the Humor Community that didn't exist when it was originally conceived. 🤯)
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Humor
What Have I Forgotten Now?
Today was his birthday. I live at the residence where he passed away. -—-The seizures hit me a week ago, causing me to break the toilet seat as I fell to the concrete floor. I'm still sore.--—- The "extended illness" mentioned in my brother's obituary is a euphemism for "years of drug abuse that ended in an overdose." It's curious to me that I've never seen his ghost.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets
Embarrassing Secret
It was a creature of chaos, a devotee of disorder, a purveyor of peril. It was an instigator of insanity. It was older than dirt, tougher than nails, bad to the bone, ugly as sin, a bald-faced liar with a checkered past— to be avoided like the plague. Bent out of shape, a fearsome force to be reckoned with, It was unstoppable, unkillable, unfathomable. It still trafficked in the physical, however...
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Horror
Everyone Happens for a Season
"Watch diligently your DART, because even though it's always sharp, it's occasionally smooth." "The whole torrent with the world is that dips & nitwits are always so flooded w/themselves, while wiser washouts are drained by DROUGHT"
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets
