Satire

M Here, With My Tips For Joyful Living In 2060
Hey everyone! It's me! M. Short for M4159374. Worker for Pod 321 in the Northern California carbon sequestration pit! Go wildcats!
By Justin Streight5 years ago in Fiction
Influencers
I woke up realizing two things – I was no longer cold, and the others had gone. I wasn’t sure where I was at first – hazy recollections of running through the dark mall, ivy covered pillars and broken escalators. Looking around I realized I was in was some kind of a storeroom. No windows, shelves stacked floor to ceiling with boxes containing who knows what. A department store, perhaps, judging on the thick duvet and pillows I was wrapped in. I hadn’t been this comfortable in months.
By Angel Whelan5 years ago in Fiction
End Of The World By The Sea
'Did you want one frozen waffle or two?’ Sally wasn’t listening to Mac’s muffled cries from the diner freezer. In fact, she resented everything that had come out of his mouth recently. In the last week alone, it was mostly a mixture of sibling verbal abuse and dictated rules. She remained seated on the plush red sofa of the booth and continued to stare out of its broad window facing the sea. The more she gazed at the receded tide, the more she became immersed in its stillness. It was almost hard to believe that such a beautiful thing could ruin her life in such a horrendous way. Everyone she has ever known now float in there. She was afraid that one day she might too.
By Kiana Rad5 years ago in Fiction
The Pendant
Stan intently watched the pallid glow of monitors surveilling his once-suburban stronghold, scrutinizing every movement of the progress now surrounding him on all sides. Under the grip of a frenetic paranoia that informed his every perspective, he seldom left the omniscience of his bedroom reconnaissance of the dangerous world outside. The occasions were fewer still that he left behind the security of his split-level, pedestrian refuge.
By Andrew Rounds5 years ago in Fiction
Moochie the Moose
Moochie was an odd calf, quite whiny and rather needy was he. His mother raised him as she saw fit, but not all that well indeed.
By Jess A. Smith5 years ago in Fiction
Malodorously 2012
(Two men stand side by side as only one speaks. Horrid sounds and noises of people screaming and the chaos that ensues down the valley, only miles from them, creep up to the mountain top like ‘devil dogs’ announcing their near presence. The elder speaks to his much younger disciple. The younger of the men, just eagerly and intensively listens as the elder speaks…...)
By Tyronn Rahda Monroe5 years ago in Fiction
Religion Renounces Its Faith
Author's note: OK. One funny one now, but fits in nicely with the first couple of serious posts I published here on my new platform. (They were all rejected btw, for religious content. Can you believe that? Me? Of all people, rejected for religious content. The irony is delicious. lol!) Moderators/reviewers and children of all ages prepare to laugh and cry, and be amazed by my humorous skill. In the classical The Onion style format. Seriously, not one of my best efforts but still pretty damn funny I think. But, then again, I would think that, wouldn't I? I sure hope so or why would I select the dropdown "humor" when asked what community to submit this work to. I might just select it to try and throw the moderators and reviewers for a loop. To mess with their heads if you will. I would never do that though, never...lol! BTW note to moderators/reviewers. If you are friends/enemies with anyone at the Medium corporation do not believe any of the lies they say about me. They are almost 100% not true. Almost. And now, finally, on to the story. Did I already say prepare to laugh? Also, I believe it now meets the required 600 word count minimum. Check out my author's postscript at the end for more on the fate of this little humorous tidbit.
By Everyday Junglist5 years ago in Fiction
Eat, Prey, Love
Today we had to eat Chuck. I’m not bothered by it – he was kind of a rude guy anyway – but it is a bit of a concern. Eating members of your own tribe never sits well, regardless of how much they’re disliked. Unfortunately, when there’s a shortage of food, the menu has to be… extended.
By J. R. Lowe5 years ago in Fiction
turn the music up
Like he had many times before Burton had his music loud and his eyes closed, pretending the world around him didn't exist. His desk, his laptop was all there was. Of course he was almost right, there wasn't that much left outside the window. He could see buildings, smell smoke and even a few sirens from the remaining law enforcement that hadn't simply given up or died.
By ASHLEY SMITH5 years ago in Fiction
When My Guide Is Lost
Miraculously, you’ve survived. Even more miraculous though, is the survival of your best friend, who, secretly, you’ve always loved. The two of you happened to be together when the downtown area of the major city in which you’ve both lived near your entire lives was bombed. Because you were far enough outside the city you are not killed by the initial explosions but expect to be dead within the next 48 hours because you know that these kinds of bombs release colorless, odorless, and tasteless gasses that kill everything within many hundreds of miles. These are the kind of dangers you and your friends have long known about and come to terms with and there is a prearranged meeting spot. Everyone is there within a few hours, but you learn that some of your friends have already died.
By Pat McNabb5 years ago in Fiction
Piratica
Five hundred year ago, they come. A band of pirates. One ship at first. They happen upon an isolated land, not by hook or by crook, but by mistake. They take it for a deserted place, they do. Bury their treasure, an' all. Aye. They come and go and come back again. That’s when they gets an idea in their heads. One among 'em had read a book. In Latin, an' all. Thebook, he says. Thomas More’s, like. And this was it—Utopia, he says.
By Victoria Reeve5 years ago in Fiction
Power
March 1, 2024 was referred to as “the day the music died.” All radio stations and television channels stopped playing regular programming and switched to Nuclear News around the clock. We had entered a second cold war in the US, only this time it was turned into worldwide entertainment. Donald Trump had been re-elected. Of course, this angered Kim Jong-un, who declared there would be no talk of a button or whose worked better. He stared directly into Trump’s eyes at a lunch he had invited him to while his translator explained North Korea would not be made to look like a fool again. They were leaders of powerful nations and needed to act like it. Donald Trump, with the whole world watching, leaned in and whispered, “I rigged an election to lead the greatest nation on Earth for a second term. I’ll do whatever the hell I want.” He hadn’t realized he was being recorded.
By Brandy Enn5 years ago in Fiction