Satire
Fallout
People – usually children- often ask me, “What’s it like being a package”? And my answer is simple, “Its amazing”. You get to travel. No one really bothers you. Your life is well managed and as of the 2000’s they even track you in the US. There aren’t many downsides. Sure, there is a bumpy ride every now and then and those fragile pansies complain for hours on end but overall being a package is good. Oh before I forget there is another downside….being near envelopes. They are super touchy feely. My theory is once they are licked it revs up the engine but doesn’t drive the car, if you know what I mean. They spend the rest of their 3-5 day lives wanting to pick up from where they left off. Its best keep your distance.
By Theophilus Wells IV5 years ago in Fiction
21st Century Breakdown
It all started twenty minutes ago, though each minute has, so far, truly felt like a millennium. I was sitting at home, minding my own business (procrastinating), when I was abruptly, and might I also add, terrifyingly interrupted by the doorbell. It’s not a sound I’m very used to, if at all. Who, in all honesty, uses a doorbell anymore? If friends or family plan to visit, they call. Tradespeople, handy people, even the landlord, they all need an appointment and you always, always meet them outside. Even the postman announces his arrival with an unusually specific delivery slot, between 13:47 and 14:23, so you can be at the door, watching the driveway intently for the arrival of whatever you’ve ordered between the assigned hours, opening the door coincidentally at the exact moment they approach, snatching the post directly from the hands feeding you and avoiding any surprises.
By Holly Jackson5 years ago in Fiction
Fear
And let it be known, I’ve said with my actions, That I do not make good decisions. Pleading belief with their eyes, yet a shrug on their tongues, “She has a good heart,” my loved ones have always voiced the excuse that I wouldn’t utter for myself. Truthfully, I didn’t think that there need be excuses. I never thought anyone was actually watching. Until the day there was one set of eyes, carefully trained upon me.
By Mickie Dennison5 years ago in Fiction
My crazy day at the gym!!
I will never forget the day I went to work out at the gym. I was so excited about the free membership that I had received online. Besides the free membership, I chose this gym because it was in my downtown area in a shopping plaza, and was filled with other stores and businesses I could go to. I wanted to workout and hit the library, the beauty salon, dairy queen, and the grocery store. I was so excited, I pulled up to the parking lot and proceeded to walk to the gym. Suddenly, a bomb squad pulled up and made a announcement over the bull horn. Nobody move, everyone please stand where they are, there is a suspicious white powder on a brown paper package in the area!! It may be arsenic poison or anthrax.
By Tanea Hill5 years ago in Fiction
The Zoo
Hello, and welcome! If you will follow me through the door to the left, we will begin our tour. Mankind has always needed to feel superior in their environment, even if they have to fake it. If we are not conquering something, then what is the point of us? We see this lesson repeated throughout history- constant war, killing animals for sport, the destruction of one culture in favor of another, dehumanizing other humans. The list is as monumental as it is sad. One just has to look at the long standing, cross culture abuse of bulls in order to see this in action. First, we humans tortured an otherwise peaceful creature, then pretended we were superior to it as we watched it torn apart or otherwise subdued by a clearly lessor human. We pretended these bulls are inherently violent and stupid so that we justify their treatment.
By Guenneth Speldrong5 years ago in Fiction
The 1st Republic
‘Let them eat cake!’ the mob chanted relentlessly in rhythm. ‘I hope they eat shit!’ she yelled towards the stage then turning to show me her huge smile, revealing her tanned wrinkles and sunflower teeth. Her head swung back, feet hopping up and down trying to see over all the melons camped in front of her. The crowd swayed like a leaf on a lake, inching closer and closer to the wooden stage. The blade of the guillotine shone, mirrored like silverware that had been looted from the palace. That was the only thing real about the whole day.
By Craig Johnson5 years ago in Fiction
Cake eaters
"Let them eat cake", growing up that quote disgusted me and shook me to my core. How could anyone be so clueless and so cruel to her fellow French men and women. For those of you unfamiliar those are the words of "Marie Antoinette". It's sad to see how little things have changed over the centuries. Day to day I see: people sleeping on park benches with one eye opened nearly freezing to death, mothers having to steal formula just to feed their babies, people selling themselves on street corners, insulin bankrupting innocent people, and veterans being tossed to the streets after serving their country. All of this all while a very select few get to live their life of extreme luxury and excess. Nightly steak and lobster dinners, brand new 100K cars speeding past our neighborhoods, paparazzi telling me I should care who's fucking who. It makes me sick and I'm done with this shit. Sorry, I forgot to mention my name is Dean. Nice to meet you. Allow me a minute to tell me about myself.
By Dyllon Rodillon5 years ago in Fiction
