Word of the Day: 心変わり

I really like this song.

Lol... this one was Ashley's favorite. She was more into Koreans than me.. if we're being technical, right? I was after the Japanese/Filipinos so we were just dividing and conquering as far as I was concerned.

Then she went and married the Troll.

Her son is a good boy though. Since he liked to run around a lot, I tried to get him to stop at traffic lights correctly and look out for cars.

" Count to 10 at stop signs. "

She used to help me out with driving to school when she had him so I knew him more as a baby, but he is probably already in middle/high school now?

Funny what time does...

I am sad about not being a good mom but, I think it takes a lot either way... Being normal/typical is just as hard as being.... alternative? Whatever.

My glands are finally calming down, but it was crazy how they flared up. I guess the advice the person gave me was accurate, but I am just too sensitive to certain chemicals.

The first 5 times I got my hair dyed, I vomited violently. After that I just got headaches for a while, then... it became normal. Since then, when I get nauseous during a hair job, I know someone didn't mix the chemicals correctly, and it usually proves to be true.

I am worried about pushing myself more, but maybe that is just me being afraid of consequences. I don't have the same barriers as before. People don't know me here really.

The question though is always, " Go North...or South? "

I am reminded of when Sansa was forced to write a letter to her brother by Cersei.

People say poison is a woman's weapon... So who poisoned Socrates?

Did that dream really disorientate me this much, or am I just feeling overburdened with the stack of work on my desk? Both most likely.

I hate the games, really. Even if you manage to win, it will feel hollow. Happy moments feel so short...

I don't know, do younger people just experience the Ether more closely to the 3D now? I just don't know the perspective is all. Unfortunately it has to be translated for someone as old as me.

Maybe I did too a long time ago and just didn't realize it at the time. It gave me a lot of turbulent emotions... I used to have very bad panic attacks that would assault my whole chest. I would be on the floor in terrible pain..

I actually forgot about that... I remember the wooden rocking horse on the floor... when I would hide in the closet..

Papa.

Yea I ordered my coffee cold because it burns more calories. I am vain a good portion of the time.

I was raised in a family that valued beauty above all else. We were to dance and be pretty. Even my grandma wore hair extensions as long as Ariana Grande's when she was younger. She only cut her hair to give other women a chance.

Where as my other side, rejected vanity despite their riches. Well no, just they didn't like cosmetics. Surgeries and the like were on the plate. Several of them had face lifts... Just more bare-faced most of the time.

Ah it reminds me of my friend Riku in Boston. He said he would wear blue contacts all the time just because he wanted people to think he was mixed. He looked sloppy all the time, but that was just the one bit of vanity he gave himself. It was funny.

Just goes to show, you never know what people value. What is important to people is very individual so, you can't really know until you.. know them.