Lightning Bolt ⚡

Joined January 2018

235 stories

Bio

Bolt ⚡ aka Bill, a bizarre bisexual bipolar alliterative epileptic Taco Bell Futurist 🌮 ☇ a sexy ♒ Aquarian oddball with an erratic brain↯🧠↯ Author of comedy, poetry, sci fi, & horror.

I am shock therapy.⚡ Subscribing risks electrocution↯.

Achievements (11)

Stories (235)

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Pope Slayer
JD Vance, the Vice President of the United States of America, is a converted Catholic. On Saturday, April 19, 2025, one day before Easter
By Lightning Bolt ⚡11 months ago in The Swamp
A Cautionary Tale for Peter Cottontail. Top Story - April 2025.
+++ Taco Bell +++ 🌮🔔 used to have a chihuahua mascot. I heard it died. I cried. The rumor is that it was shot in the head
By Lightning Bolt ⚡11 months ago in Poets
An Absurdist Search for The Odious Oligarch of Oz. Top Story - March 2025.
"I'm hungry." Barely awake, Dorsey had just finished his morning tea. He yelled... "Who said that?" His shaggy black cat was on the other side of the room.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡12 months ago in Humor
March Awakens
old unraked dead Leaves newly Blossoming Flowers Spring is in the Air! 🌺 by* _____________Bolt ⚡ original poem☝️ by ©️William Markly O'Neal II, 2025 - All rights reserved
By Lightning Bolt ⚡12 months ago in Poets
Elegy for Elphaba 😢
Greenest Elphaba, You're not Wicked And I'm not Insane These labels are slapped on us by minions, and munchkins, and malcontents, and moviemakers.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡12 months ago in Humor
War on the Beach
Crab ammunition —shellfish pelts the enemy—💥💥💥🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀 Shot from a cannon ⚡__________________ ⚡ Shot from a cannon
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets
Our Typical Valentine's Day Declarations
"I ain't all that." "You're all that and more!" "I'm too fat." "That's pleasant plumpness that I adore!" "When I saw your smile, I was lost."
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets
I Can Be More
My loyal heart can never go astray When you need my compliance, I will obey The depth of my love, I can't convey I will recommit to you every day
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets
The Lion Meme 🦁👑
Hey there! 👋😁⚡ I'm _Lightning Bolt⚡ with another droll edition of Meme-ing Madness! Since I'm a force of nature and a Top Contributor in the Humor Community, I assume no further introduction is necessary.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Humor
Superbowl? Really?!??
I hear rumors. I'm not exactly ill-informed. Tonight there is something called a "Superbowl." I know that to be true. Exactly what it is, however-- what is does-- that's confusing me. 🤷⚡
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets
The Taco Bell of Tomorrow. Honorable Mention in Tomorrow’s Utopia Challenge.
His dog nuzzled up against his face from beside his vibro-bed. Knowing it wouldn't work, Prominence said, "Leave me alone, Pavlov."
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Futurism
Shaken & Stirred
Brilliantly Smart Hearts Contemplative Emotions Poetic mixture _________________ *a haiku by _____________Bolt⚡ Original poem☝️ by ©️William Markly O'Neal II, 2025 - All rights reserved⚡
By Lightning Bolt ⚡about a year ago in Poets