What Does Surrogacy Require When You Keep it in the Family?

The question of: What does surrogacy require, becomes more difficult to describe when both women involved are members of the same family.

Just stop and consider how much more complicated this scenario would be, to have three woman in a surrogacy situation and all three are related.

It's happened before, at least once - that I've read about.

I was astounded by the story, although I'm not completely sure about the rarity of these type of circumstances.

Then again, it's hard to believe that there are lots of other families out there, with three siblings connected in a surrogacy situation.

As incredible as it sounds, a woman had two sisters who each carried a baby for her! These three women are forever bound by blood and also by motherhood.

During the month of March when we focus on women issues and celebrate International Women's Day, it's hard not to appreciate just how awesome we women are, and stories like these 3 sisters are just another example of that awesomeness.

It's the story about one woman and her husband, and how they had been desperately trying, to have a baby.

After suffering a number of difficult pregnancies that never went to full term, one of the woman's sisters stepped up, and agreed to be a surrogate.

But what happened later, is really the mind blower. 

Another sister also stepped up and did the same thing for that same sister who couldn't carry a child to term.

What can I say - some women are truly incredible!

Would You Ever Consider Being a Surrogate Mother for Your Sister?

When I read it, it made me feel a little less than a sister because I know I could never be the kind of sister that I read about.

But I suspect that lots of other women might feel exactly like I feel about the situation.

I love my sisters with all my heart, but I don't think I could have gone this far to make either of them happy.

It might sound selfish, but I'm keeping it real.

In fact, I suspect there's a high percentage of other sisters like me, reluctantly admitting the same thing. 

Well don't beat yourself up too bad, because clearly this is an extraordinary thing to do, and every woman and every situation is not able to stand the weight or the potential pressure and probable challenges.

What Does Surrogacy Require When it's in the Family?

When I think about all the confusion and chaos that could possibly result from a story like this, it makes me shake my head in disbelief.

Although I know I'd want my sister to be happy and would want to help however I could, my heart and mind just wouldn't let me go through with something like that.

What about you? Would you really and truly be able to compartmentalize your life in that way?

1. You'd have to find a way to turn your maternal feelings into the feelings of an aunt.
2. You'd have to decide whether to tell the children or not tell them
3. You'd have to deal with the possible aftermath of either of the above decisions (lying and keeping it secret, or trying to help them understand)

I'm not exactly sure how Ericka (the woman in the story) and her sisters (Krista and Andrea) tackled any of these three issues later, because the article didn't say.

It did, however, show indications that a bit of confusion may have been brewing with the situation even then. For instance, the story reported that:

"Arlo wants to call Krista every night; Ada crawls right into Andrea's lap when she visits. When one of the kids takes their first step or says their first word, Krista and Andrea rejoice too."

Quite possibly, this kind of mixed up bag of emotions is only the beginning for this unconventional family.

Hopefully, I like to think that they were able to successfully navigate the potential problems that may have come up, particularly since all their choices were made out of love.

I still wonder about it to this day, in view of all the ways that I thought about that could really make things messy for them.

Potential Problems When Surrogacy is Kept in the Family

A story like this can't help but make you wonder and question your own degree of love and commitment to family.

You have to admit, that's a pretty tough act for most sisters to try and follow.

But besides the courage needed to make such a loving sacrifice for your sister, I had mixed feelings when I initially read the story, and it had to do with other concerns.

While I applaud them for loving their sister to that extreme, there were still some issues I raised, about how the family dynamics would work.

Think about it. What kind of questions would this automatically raise in your mind? Several pop into my head.

For example:

• Should the children be told about the origin of their births?
• What roles, if any, will each auntie/mom play in the child's life?
• What will family gatherings and get togethers look like for everyone?

As you might imagine, anyone who reads or hears about this story can't help but have a passionate opinion one way or another.

But before you form an honest opinion for yourself, I encourage you to read the full story I initially shared on Medium called: An Incredible Story of Unselfish Sisterly Love!

Final Thoughts

Five years ago, the August/September 2021 edition of Woman's Day did a splendid job in publishing the surrogacy story about these three sisters.

To me, their story helps us appreciate just how deep the bonds between women tend to grow, especially when these type of special extenuating circumstances are involved.

When you take a moment to go read the full account, you'll learn more about the details as it elaborates on:

• A troubling story of loss after loss
• A touching story of selfless sisterly love
• An unbelievable outcome

I hope you find it as enjoyable and inspirational as I did, and also very fitting, in honor of Woman's History Month.

You might also enjoy my recently published Vocal story as it considers: 

What Important Issues Should 2026 Women's History Month Conversations Cover?

Thanks for reading.