Cute But Ugly

Cute But Ugly

Society tells us we have to be bold. Yet, treats us badly if we speak too much. Society offers us limited beliefs based on a bias and a contradiction of ourselves. We need titties to be loved, sex appeal must match the drive of a man, we need a big butt, our insecurities plagued through ads and models.

We must wear the labels and act as a dime, or we must sleep with a man with the highest income to match what we don’t earn at jobs. Having babies, oh please, that’s normal right, yeah, only if you have a ring. Having multiple sex partners is frowned upon, while a man will sleep with a whore from the strip. They can pay too dollars for sex, while we’re at home with scarfs on, tired all day from looking after their kids.

We fall victim to the stereotypical patriarchal attitude of society. Our needs are rarely met, our time barely giving to ourselves, yet, you can’t lose a good man because he’s hard to come by. No matter the abuse, no matter the disrespect, we follow the rules with botox, butt lifts and that’s just to name a few. We carry around in our purses made from the cheapest linen, make up that barely matches our skin. We furrow into trying to keep up with the blondes, the office baddies, and even the girls on IG.

We have placed our beauty as a top priority just to be labeled bad bitches, fuck buddies, and single mothers. Our education doesn’t matter because the man said so, our love is placed in categories on who can fuck the best. We grow only to learn that it’s worst when you’re older. Judged by a testimony, oh no, beauty doesn’t get you loved, it gets you raped, it gets you disrespected, it makes you a victim. The love you have dreamed of since a child, the ring you picked out when your first love told you how much love meant. We sit in silence hoping that we don’t fail our daughters dreaming of the world changing to mask this atrocity.

We fight tooth and nail the other woman, yet the man’s responsibility comes from excuses. Men, why don’t you accept accountability? If I’m ugly it’s because I love you so much that I degraded myself, if I’m ugly it’s because I showered you with the truth of my looks. I can only dress to impress you right? I can’t dress in a pants suit, because you’ll ask me what do I do. If I tell you I just like to look professional you would treat me as if I’m dumb. If I wear high heels to compliment my appearance, you’ll ignore the massage I needed. If I climb my way from the bottom and earn my rewards, you’ll accuse me of loving someone else.

Dear men, do you think I’m only designed for the bedroom and kitchen? To be your maid or to be made in your depicted discipline. I’m not allowed to love myself, only allowed to love you. As soon as me being a woman hurts you, your critique comes with understanding the love you give isn’t irreplaceable. The rationale of your life, we take on that, putting our needs last just so you can earn six figures. You didn’t build yourself alone, yet the only thank you we receive is occasional pleasure, discomfort in the room with your lovers, meeting your friends who would probably treat us better and nine times out of ten has tried. We get met with little lies that turn into grande sizes. We get scolded for our hair not being fixed to match our faces, yet never acknowledged for what we do.

The things we do give to you like patience, dedication, and honoring the vows of our declarations. Yet, you so effortlessly ignore the needs of us. You tell us we are being too much. Well I’m not sorry for being a woman, I’m not sorry for my emotional support. I’m not sorry for needing someone just like you did. It was my silence that helped us build this kingdom, it was my strength that you overlooked, and when I gave you reasons to show me, you showed me why loving myself is important. I am cute but ugly.