Beginning of a New Chapter

Marla gazed off into the distance. She wasn't really seeing what was in front of her. The rolling hills covered in wheat that shifted and swayed in the noon day sun were a haze of blue and gold and white, without definition. Her thoughts jumbled and turned, shifting her current dilemma in different ways, seeing if, perhaps, a different angle might give her an alternate solution or answer.

Two days ago, the long awaited letter had arrived. The postal truck, with it's little logo of red and white jauntily bright on it's side, stopped before the mail box at the end of the gravel drive. The driver, a non-descript man of middle age and paunch, climbed out, deposited a handful of white envelopes into the box, and drove off again; leaving only the swirling dust of the gravel to fade away on the westerly wind.

Marla had been watching out the window, the same as every day of that week, with damp palms and knots in her stomach. Graduation from the local high school was behind her now. At her mother's urging, she had applied for a number of colleges, some as far away as Florida; 1000s of miles away from her home in Southern Alberta. There were so many expectations laid on her, she felt as though she had reached a threshold, and rather than being able to choose her next steps, had been pushed off the edge to free-fall into space.

Four colleges had already sent their responses, all of which wished her the best of luck but regretted to inform her that her application had not been accepted. There were only two left: one being the University of Lethbridge, which left her within an hour's drive of home, the other being in the State of Colorado, which took her far away from what was familiar. 'Today,' she thought, 'today might be the day that everything changes.'

Taking a deep breath, Marla left the kitchen and stepped out onto the wooden porch, her steps echoing and hollow sounding on the old wood. The hot wind swirled around her, pushing and pulling from every direction, a mirror of the way she felt on the inside. Just as she reached the edge of the porch, she paused. 'What do I want? Do I want to go somewhere where no one knows me, where I can create myself and become who I see myself to be? Or do I want to stay close to home, where things are familiar and my family is within reach, where old loves and friends can be talked with and spent time with; where I know who I am?

Ever since high school graduation, she had been asking herself these questions, and now, finally, she stood at the crossroads. Yes, there was a chance that the final two letters would both be acceptance letters. Then she would be faced with the decision of having to choose for herself. If, however, only one was an acceptance, then her road would be open before her and the final decision would be out of her hands. A simpler solution perhaps, then whatever came down the road could be excused by 'having no other choice.'

Either way, it was time to see what had been brought for her. With a final deep breath and a glance over her shoulder, to see that her mother was not watching as well, Marla stepped off the porch into the dry, prairie grass and strode for the mailbox. Taking the short cut through the field, the wheat rustled and brushed against her skirts and the brown, dusty dirt clung to her boots. Reaching the road, she stopped before the weathered blue mailbox, opened the flap and took out the letters.